tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17935566288838601792024-02-20T20:29:47.712-06:00HumorUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1536125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-35473218153318254042015-04-13T22:30:00.001-05:002015-04-13T22:30:48.686-05:00Police Couldn't Respond Fast Enough to Elderly Man's Call, What Happened Next Was Totally UNEXPECTED<a href="http://www.youngcons.com/police-couldnt-respond-to-this-call-fast-enough-what-happened-next-was-totally-unexpected/">Police Couldn't Respond Fast Enough to Elderly Man's Call, What Happened Next Was Totally UNEXPECTED</a>: "Police response times in America are pretty horrendous, which is why it’s critical Americans exercise their Second Amendment right to own a firearm, because let’s face it, a lot can happen in eight minutes (the average response time for a call)."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-90392201199696648112015-03-29T23:11:00.001-05:002015-03-29T23:11:27.009-05:00Dallas Cowboys Honored For Helping Reintegrate Criminals Back Into NFL | The Onion - America's Finest News Source<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/dallas-cowboys-honored-for-helping-reintegrate-cri,38303/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Pic:Week1:Default">Dallas Cowboys Honored For Helping Reintegrate Criminals Back Into NFL | The Onion - America's Finest News Source</a>: "DALLAS—Praising the organization for their refusal to turn their backs on those with a troubled past, the ACLU honored the Dallas Cowboys Wednesday for their ongoing efforts to reintegrate criminals back into the NFL."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-47726108357666561332015-03-22T01:45:00.001-05:002015-03-22T01:45:50.498-05:00Comedian Tim Hawkins and his Obama joke! - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wuQIRadbLE&t=22">Comedian Tim Hawkins and his Obama joke! - YouTube</a>: <br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-82662111368646171812015-03-13T23:27:00.001-05:002015-03-13T23:27:40.971-05:00These are without a doubt the funniest text messages ever sent from parents -<a href="http://www.youngcons.com/these-are-without-a-doubt-the-funniest-text-messages-ever-from-parents/">These are without a doubt the funniest text messages ever sent from parents -</a>: "These are without a doubt the funniest text messages ever sent from parents"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-811823365599601792015-01-30T14:42:00.001-06:002015-01-30T14:42:19.933-06:00So 3 Contractors Meet With Obama to Fix a Broken Fence at the White House...<a href="http://conservativetribune.com/three-contractors-white-house/">So 3 Contractors Meet With Obama to Fix a Broken Fence at the White House...</a>: "So three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee and the third is from Minnesota.<br />
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All three meet with Obama to examine the fence."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-47975078670823704422015-01-10T15:00:00.001-06:002015-01-10T15:00:33.293-06:00So Obama Walked Into a Local Bank to Cash a Check, Then...<a href="http://conservativetribune.com/obama-walks-into-bank/">So Obama Walked Into a Local Bank to Cash a Check, Then...</a>: "President Barack Obama, surrounded by his normal retinue of Secret Service agents, walks into the Chicago branch office of a regional bank to cash a check."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-70682698055525069502015-01-04T17:02:00.001-06:002015-01-04T17:02:54.364-06:00So Hillary Clinton, Rick Perry, and Billy Graham Were on a Plane...<a href="http://conservativetribune.com/hillary-airplane-joke/">So Hillary Clinton, Rick Perry, and Billy Graham Were on a Plane...</a>: "The first passenger, Rick Perry said “I’m the governor of the great state of Texas, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of millions of people, helping lead our state to prosperity, etc.” So he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-5385394258508228222014-12-28T14:35:00.001-06:002014-12-28T14:35:32.920-06:00Handyman Corner "Cadillac Backhoe" - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4g2bp_gZDE">Handyman Corner "Cadillac Backhoe" - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/c4g2bp_gZDE" width="560"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-45545693048480819562014-12-28T14:32:00.001-06:002014-12-28T14:32:17.957-06:00Handyman Corner "Ductwork Boat" - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPbubMAYN7g">Handyman Corner "Ductwork Boat" - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/vPbubMAYN7g" width="560"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-65972862867995439722014-12-28T14:30:00.001-06:002014-12-28T14:30:33.377-06:00Handyman Corner - Garage Car Wash - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkLDGjKDkwo">Handyman Corner - Garage Car Wash - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/hkLDGjKDkwo" width="420"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-85497033883937946942014-12-28T14:27:00.001-06:002014-12-28T14:27:33.532-06:00Handyman Corner - Garage Car Wash - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkLDGjKDkwo">Handyman Corner - Garage Car Wash - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/hkLDGjKDkwo" width="420"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-32936662587047096432014-12-28T14:26:00.001-06:002014-12-28T14:26:48.702-06:00Handyman Tip - Fridge Front Door - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoxVePIfWZw&feature=youtu.be">Handyman Tip - Fridge Front Door - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ZoxVePIfWZw" width="420"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-63292027358661290752014-12-17T23:03:00.001-06:002014-12-17T23:03:18.159-06:00This "Barack Obama met with the Queen of England" joke is going viral, and it's really funny -<a href="http://www.youngcons.com/barack-obama-met-queen-england-joke-going-viral-really-funny/">This "Barack Obama met with the Queen of England" joke is going viral, and it's really funny -</a>: "BARACK OBAMA MET WITH THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.<br />
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He asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”<br />
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“Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”<br />
Obama frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know the people around are really intelligent?”"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-83925773594791744432014-11-11T18:08:00.001-06:002014-11-11T18:08:07.182-06:00If you ever Feel Dumb Just Take A Look At These People And You Will Feel Better<a href="http://www.opposingviews.com/i/gallery/entertainment/if-you-ever-feel-dumb-take-look-these-people-and-you-will-feel-better">If you ever Feel Dumb Just Take A Look At These People And You Will Feel Better</a>: "f You Ever Feel Dumb Just Take A Look At These People And You Will Feel Better"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-87463919749163974512014-11-09T00:54:00.001-06:002014-11-09T00:54:05.663-06:00The most hilariously timed photo of a guard at the UN you will ever see | Young Conservatives<a href="http://www.youngcons.com/the-most-hilariously-timed-photo-of-a-guard-at-the-un-you-will-ever-see/">The most hilariously timed photo of a guard at the UN you will ever see | Young Conservatives</a>: "“Let’s get one thing straight from the outset: The U.N. sucks. And before you start talking about the starving babies it saves and the thorns it pulls from cuddly creatures’ paws, please remember that all sorts of awful institutions do good things."<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-55719313151116926602014-10-27T00:47:00.001-05:002014-10-27T00:47:17.613-05:00Surprisingly HARSH Obama Skit on SNL Will Have You Laughing Out Loud… | Young Conservatives<a href="http://www.youngcons.com/surprisingly-harsh-obama-skit-on-snl-will-have-you-laughing-out-loud/">Surprisingly HARSH Obama Skit on SNL Will Have You Laughing Out Loud… | Young Conservatives</a>: "Fake President Barack Obama’s take on how his administration has handled the Ebola outbreak:<br />
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“It was nowhere near as bad as how we handled the ISIS [Islamic State] situation. I mean, our various Secret Service mishaps, or the scandals of the IRS and NSA. And I don’t know if you guys remember, but the Obamacare website had some pretty serious problems too. In fact, if you look at all the stuff that’s happened my second term, this whole Ebola thing is probably one of my greatest accomplishments!"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-71756004444743947142014-09-13T10:12:00.001-05:002014-09-13T10:12:00.785-05:00Facebook<a href="https://www.facebook.com/home.php">Facebook</a>: "British joke: A London cab driver's answer to a request from a Muslim to turn off the radio.<br />
'A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because "in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel."<br />
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.<br />
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"<br />
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.." '"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-63742740655607401302014-08-24T12:17:00.001-05:002014-08-24T12:17:34.338-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">There where two snakes talking. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?'. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-68278292341402174682014-08-24T12:16:00.001-05:002014-08-24T12:16:40.001-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-81265576985627976922014-08-24T12:14:00.001-05:002014-08-24T12:14:15.750-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I bet you don't know what day this is, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation. </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-6826493990810453672014-08-24T12:12:00.001-05:002014-08-24T12:12:50.400-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A woman was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.</div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'</div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-38854137374500708702014-06-09T20:05:00.001-05:002014-06-09T20:05:40.933-05:00Pet Interviews - Guinea Pig - YouTube<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3XtKBlTz0">Pet Interviews - Guinea Pig - YouTube</a>: "<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/jW3XtKBlTz0" width="560"></iframe>"<br /><br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-35742499959226038342014-06-02T23:43:00.001-05:002014-06-02T23:43:02.177-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A woman was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.</div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'</div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-10082838323293214852014-06-02T23:41:00.001-05:002014-06-02T23:41:26.616-05:00<div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". </div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1793556628883860179.post-91713371279663026312014-06-02T23:40:00.001-05:002014-06-02T23:40:47.962-05:00<span style="font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'; font-weight: bold; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0