Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Marriage counselor

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem.
He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug.
He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day! "
The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow? "

Interview

Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant. "Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants. "Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor. "Employer: "More than we can use already. "Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor. "Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications. "Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk! "Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening. "