Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.  

Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"  

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."  

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."  

The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."  

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.  

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"  

"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." 

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred, as some of the grappling hooks gave way. This left the eleven climbers clinging precariously to the wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on the Mountain. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the weight on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. All ten blondes applauded.

6-Day Visit To Rural African Village Completely Changes Woman’s Facebook Profile Picture | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

6-Day Visit To Rural African Village Completely Changes Woman’s Facebook Profile Picture | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "ST. LOUIS—Calling the experience “completely transformative,” local 22-year-old Angela Fisher told reporters Tuesday that her six-day visit to the rural Malawian village of Neno has completely changed her profile picture on Facebook."



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