Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Assertive
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair? " "The funeral director," said his wife."
Hard o hearing
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding? "The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say? "The old man yells, "He says you were speeding! "The patrolman says, "May I see your license? "The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say? "The old man yells, "He wants to see your license! "The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen. "The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say? "And the old man yells, "He said he knows you! "
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