word play

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

siblings

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

dating

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter. When the girl got back from the date she said "That was the worst night of my life!" "Why is that?" her mom asked. "He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!" "Isn't that a good thing?" "He's the original owner mom!"