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A 87 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, the doctor said, "You're really doing great, aren't you? "The man replied, "Just doing what you said doctor, "Get a hot mama and be cheerful. "The doctor said, "I didn't say that!... I said you have got a heart murmur. Be careful! "

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. " "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket? " "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not. " "Season's more than half over," he said."