A woman was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". 

Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." 

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?  

Second girl: No, it's imagination.