First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?  

Second girl: No, it's imagination.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."