Danny sets up Andy to go on a blind date with Shirley, a friend of his. But Andy is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before. 

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Andy, "I'll be stuck with her all night." 

"Don't worry." Danny says. "Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack." 

So that night, Andy knocks at Shirleys door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andy's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, "Aaauuuggghhh!" 

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. 

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. 

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,  

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" 

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,  

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" 

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. 

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." 

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. 

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.  

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Husband: Every time I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? 

Wife: I clean the toilet seat. 

Husband: How does that help? 

Wife: I use your toothbrush!