Monday, January 20, 2014

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the  doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the  first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor  replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say  something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it  again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her  deafness". 

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He  starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping  some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response. 

He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet  closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about  an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" 

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.  

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress,  

"Humph, not much of a man, was he?"  

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."

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17 Cows That Forgot How to Cow - The Ditziest Farm Animals Ever

17 Cows That Forgot How to Cow - The Ditziest Farm Animals Ever: "Although an animal’s instincts are certainly strong, sometimes even animals get a little air headed from time to time. We think you’ll appreciate this list of cows who suddenly forgot how to to be a cow."



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