Airline joke

After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested system an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, ... "

IRS humor

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated. "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes? "The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything. "