Friday, August 30, 2013

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. 

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. 

"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." 

"What on earth do you mean???" 

"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: 

Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."

The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.

A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."

"What's the bad news?"

"You're pitching on Wednesday."
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" 

"Very good," said her mother. 

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" 

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. 

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" 

"Very good," said her mother. 

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" 

"Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." 

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" 

And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. 

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother. 

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" 

"No, it's because you're 25."