Sunday, March 2, 2014

Months Of Painstaking Practice Critiquing Celebrity Fashion Comes Down To This For Area Woman | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Months Of Painstaking Practice Critiquing Celebrity Fashion Comes Down To This For Area Woman | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "RIO RANCHO, NM—Leaning in anxiously toward her television Sunday as the 86th Academy Awards pre-show coverage began, 36-year-old Rachel Kohls told reporters that her past 12 months of rigorous and painstaking practice critiquing celebrity fashion has all come down to this night."



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Bill Cosby---Grandparents - YouTube

Bill Cosby---Grandparents - YouTube: ""



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Canibals

There were two cannibals talking about recipe ideas. The first cannibal says, "I really don't like the missionaries.  They taste terrible."

The second cannibal said, "How did you cook him?"

The first cannibal said, "I put him in the pot and boiled him, just like always."

The second cannibal asked, "What did he look like?"

The first cannibal responded, "He was kinda short, fat, half-bald, and wore a brown tunic."

The second cannibal responded, "Well, there's your problem.  That one was a friar."

2 guys in the park

Two old guys are sitting on a park bench when a stray dog walks by, drops onto the grass across from them and starts energetically licking its, ahem, private area.

The two old guys can't help but watch because this dog is really going to town. They're fascinated. 

Finally one guy pipes up: "I wish I could do that."

The other replies: "You might want to try petting him first. He looks pretty mean."