Medical joke

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder.
If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him.
Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely. "
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say? " "He said you're going to die," she replied."

Newspaper humor

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled! "
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled. "
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it.
Fifty-one people swindled! "

Golf humor

1. Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
2. Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before! " Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir! "
3. Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me! " Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir! "
4. Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game? " Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf. "