An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.  

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.  

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"  

He replied, "To the kitchen." 

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"  

"Sure."  

Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"  

"No, I can remember that."  

"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.  

"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."  

She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."  

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen.  

After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.  

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started." 

Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?" 

"From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde. 

The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. 

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box." 

"Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde. 

"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady," replied Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."