Saturday, December 14, 2013

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....

Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"

Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."

Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."

Blonde : "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America. Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding ck to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: 

Officer: May I see your driver's license? 

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. 

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? 

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. 

Officer: The car is stolen? 

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. 

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? 

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. 

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? 

Driver: Yes, sir. 

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. 

The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: 

Captain: Sir, can I see your license? 

Driver: Sure. Here it is. 

It was valid. 

Captain: Who's car is this? 

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. 

The driver owned the car. 

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? 

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. 

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. 

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. 

Driver: No problem. 

Trunk is opened; no body. 

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. 

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too