The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" 

A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled"

Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?" Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die.

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A. Not enough sand.

Aha! Jokes: Funny Pictures - Internet Explorer.

Aha! Jokes: Funny Pictures - Internet Explorer.:

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Aha! Jokes > Animal Jokes > Dog Property Rules

Aha! Jokes > Animal Jokes > Dog Property Rules: "1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours. "

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Aha! Jokes > Animal Jokes > Installing a Carpet

Aha! Jokes > Animal Jokes > Installing a Carpet: "A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''

''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''"

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One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..." "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

This suave-looking Redneck, (ok, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink. He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies -" Sure, why not! "They get to her place, and she lies on the bed and says," Ok, show me what you do best! ". Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, -grabs her T. V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!"

what do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a spin!