The Top 10 Ways to Annoy People 

1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper. 

2. In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage." 

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 

4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 

5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 

6. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 

7. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 

8. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

9. Ask people what gender they are. 

10. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.